How do I know if my child needs therapy?
Parents may be wondering when and if seeking an individual therapist is appropriate for their child. Working with minors is different from providing therapy to adults, given that most of the time, an adult is choosing to seek therapy (unless under specific circumstances, like court-ordered therapy). For children, oftentimes it can be parents who are letting their child know that they think therapy would be helpful for them, and finding and scheduling an appointment with a therapist. It’s important to consider the situations when finding a therapist for your child is warranted, and when it’s either time to stop therapy or not appropriate to start.
Based on my work as a child psychologist, here are some situations when it likely would be appropriate to seek an individual therapist for your child:
Your child asks to see a therapist or counselor, or asks more generally to be able to talk to someone.
Your child displays changes in their behavior that seem out of character or are concerning to you in some way.
You aren’t sure what’s going on with your child and a professional opinion would be useful.
You think that your child would benefit from a space where they can freely share what they’re thinking and feeling with a safe adult.
You think that your child might have a social-emotional skill deficit, such as trouble with their social skills, regulating their emotions, or lack of emotional awareness.
Your child is displaying symptoms of a mental health disorder (meaning that your child is distressed and/or their functioning has changed due to these symptoms), such as an anxiety disorder, OCD, depression, etc.
Your child is experiencing a life event that they’re finding difficult to cope with, such as (but not limited to)…
The death of someone close to them
Big life transition, such as changing schools, moving homes, or parents separating
Abuse or trauma
Bullying
Unwelcome changes in their peer group
There are also some situations when it likely is not warranted to seek individual therapy or recommended to discontinue therapy. These include:
Your child continues to display resistance to therapy after multiple attempts of connecting with and building a relationship with their therapist.
Your child either clearly does not need or is not benefiting from therapy.
Your child is the identified patient, but it would be more beneficial for other factors in their environment to change first (e.g., family therapy or parent-focused sessions may be more appropriate than seeking an individual therapist for your child).
Your child is too young or “not ready” for therapy (*dependent on the type of therapy; play therapists work with young children, but very young children are not appropriate candidates for other types of therapy, like CBT).
Your child would benefit more from other services (such as working with an occupational therapist to address your child’s sensory needs), and multiple therapies are either not financially feasible or feasible for your family’s schedule.
Your child meets their therapy goals and is ready to graduate!